Being Here
by canny-bairn
Summary: Hotch goes to comfort JJ when Henry gets sick. Just friendship or pre relationship if you ship! First ever fic so please be nice. Characters are CBS' not mine


Being here

He probably shouldn't be here. This should be someone else's job. Garcia's or Prentiss's, Will's most defiantly. But he's hundreds of miles away, working on some drug bust case in Louisiana and not answering his phone and she's scared and that's one emotion he's never associated with her. Happy, sad, frustrated, angry but never scared. She told him she couldn't handle people right now, that she'll try and sort something out for work but right now she needed to be alone and concentrating on not breaking down because Henry was lying in a hospital bed and she was scared out of her mind.

Hotch had tried very hard to keep his emotions controlled throughout his life, to protect himself or at least to try and protect others from his true feelings. It worked for him, well it was until he got to the hospital door and looked into the room to check its occupants. Henry was lost in the large hospital bed, wires and tubes' surrounding him and JJ was curled up on the chair next to the bed, her hand covering Henry's tiny hand but her large and dark, red rimmed eyes were fixed on him watching them.

The next thing he knew he was dragging her up into an embrace, telling her it was going to be okay, that he was here and that right now Henry was getting the best care available to him.

'_I thought I said I couldn't handle people right now_?' JJ whispered through a sob

'_You shouldn't be alone at a time like this_.' He replied, letting her tighten her grip on him

'_Hotch?' _

'_Yeah?'_

'_Thanks'_

Her voice, her whole demeanour seemed small and that unnerved him. JJ was strong and confident she was the one member of the team who was his constant, reliable and professional but empathetic colleague, no friend. Even on her dark days when a particularly bad case would get to her she would somehow end up reassuring him that everything was okay. While he was often the one to make sure everyone else managed with the torments that a case could bring, she was the one that at the end of the day would show up at his office door, no words needed to be exchanged just a smile or a nod to let him know that they had made it through yet another day. He started to rely on their subtle and silent interactions to keep him grounded after the guilt of Hailey's death would drift to the surface of his thoughts and after Will left he knew that if his own experiences could comfort her in some way nothing would stop him from being there.

After she regained her composure they returned both their focus back to sleeping three year old, JJ's hand covering his tiny hand and Hotch's hand covering JJ's smaller one. The nurses and doctors came and went over the next couple of hours with the same frustrating response of 'we're still running tests'. Hotch had held off his concerned colleagues by phone, deciding to face the wrath of Garcia later, he dutifully got the bitter tasting coffee and reassured JJ when she stubbornly kept questioning her mothering ability, by letting her know that this wasn't her fault, that she had got Henry to the hospital when it counted, and that being a single parent was hard but she is an amazing mom holding down a demanding job, doing everything possible to make sure that her little boy knows he is loved every single day. Mirroring several conversations that they've had over the last few years when he was questioning his abilities as a father.

Will had been gone for over a year now. It was an amicable split but still difficult to come to terms with after nearly a three year commitment. JJ honestly believed that she had tried in the relationship if only for Henry's sake in the end, evidently she hadn't tried hard enough as Will decided to take a position as detective in Louisiana and told her he couldn't just keep being her babysitter for Henry and nothing more. Every member of the team was there to lend her a hand when she needed it and right now she needed Hotch. They had been beside Henry's bed for what seemed like days, in reality it couldn't have been any longer than a couple of hours, Hotch had left the room on several occasions to get coffee or to answer his phone but upon his last return the silence that had been prevalent was broken.

'_You need to stop blaming yourself, JJ, you couldn't have done anything to stop Henry getting sick_'

'_Hotch he had a seizure and I was....I just....God why is this happening he's so small and new and innocent. If I had been concentrating on Henry instead of the sheriff on the phone I would have seen he wasn't well...I would have....'_

'_JJ you got him here, he's going to be okay, the doctor said everything is looking good he just needs to rest and be observed for the next couple of hours'_

'_I just feel useless'_

'_Yeah, I've been there but you're doing everything you can right now'_

They exchanged knowing glances, she was well aware he was thinking of how close he came to losing Jack because of Foyet. Then slowly and silently he took his previous place next to her and took her hand again, she placed her head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. It was going to be along night of silent worrying on both accounts. He knew he probably shouldn't be here. He should let others come to comfort her but in all honesty he couldn't leave her not like this. Nearly two years ago his kid had been in danger and it was the worst time of his life. Right now JJ's son was facing a danger that couldn't be stopped by following a profile or by appealing to witnesses. He has nightmares about being in this situation with Jack and in each bad dream JJ is there reassuring him, telling him it will be alright, whether he believes her or not is another matter. It's his job to look after the team, Aaron Hotchner, unit chief, yet JJ is the one who on several occasions been the one to look after him, telling him it gets easier reminding him of his own words, that after all he is human and it's ok to show emotion.

He's her friend, he knows she's the toughest person in the BAU, he respects her and could never underestimate her abilities in her job as liaison and as a mother. But he's also her boss, he's got a whole unit and other teammates to care take and lots of paperwork, which she gave him, to complete. So no, he probably shouldn't be here. There's so many other ways he could support her without gently wrapping his arm around her so she can hang onto him and not feel so alone. He should let someone else come and be here with her in her time of need. He could be sorting out a temporary substitute for her, taking her phone calls and meetings instead of telling her to close her eyes because he is there to watch over Henry. No he probably shouldn't be here but this is where he's staying.


End file.
